The power of journaling

Last summer I took an awesome course called Inspired Living, taught by my wise and inspiring yoga teacher, Sylvie Gouin. The course and its accompanying text, Inspired Living: A Guided Yoga Journal, are about applying yoga principles to the practice of journaling for spiritual self-study, introspection, and intuitive guidance.

Since taking the course, I have established a (for the most part) daily journaling practice and I’m finding it to be tremendously beneficial on so many levels. It’s like having your own personal therapist, except that it’s free, there are no hour-long appointments to fit into your schedule, and you are both the therapist and the client! You can work through almost any issue, problem, or question in your life by writing in your journal and reviewing your writings regularly. You’d be amazed at how much wisdom you already have but weren’t aware of!

Lately I’ve been journaling about anger, an emotion that has surfaced for me as a result of a recent situation in my life. I have been struggling with dealing with my anger in a healthy way as I do not want it to consume my energy. I have learned through my yoga training that what I focus on grows, and I’m really not interested in cultivating anger!

Just as I was struggling with this, I happened to come to a passage on anger in the book that I’m reading, Paths to God: Living the Bhagavad-Gita, by Ram Dass. In the book, he recommends that if you are angry at someone, really look at what you are angry about. Likely, you’ll find that you are angry because the person you’re angry with did not behave the way you expected him/her to behave. After reading this, I decided to journal about my anger and examine the source of it. Sure enough, I realized that I was angry because the expectations I was imposing on this person were not being met. As I wrote, it became clear that I was angry at this person for not going along with my idea of how life is supposed to be. The futility of this mind-set really struck me. My path is my path, and your path is your path, and I only have control over how I choose to live my life, not yours. How can I be angry at someone who is just living his/her own life the only way he/she knows how?

Out of this realization came compassion as I began to look at the person in a different way. I also realized that holding onto anger towards this person is not serving me or the other person or anyone else in my life. Being angry in this situation won’t really change anything; it will only suck up my energy and prevent me from focusing on more important things in my life.

I’m not saying that the anger and judgment are completely gone; I still have moments when these feelings come up. But I'm no longer consumed by them. Journaling gives me a constructive outlet for examining anger and other emotions, issues, or questions that arise in my life. It’s amazing how just 5 or 10 minutes of reflective writing can bring so much clarity and initiate shifts in my thoughts and responses! But as my wise yoga teacher likes to say, don’t take my word for it; try it out for yourself!

Inspired Living: A Guided Yoga Journal is now on sale at amazon.com.

Perfection

For most of my life I have struggled with perfectionism - in my studies, work, personal life, and even my yoga practice.

Growing up, I was afraid to try new things, in case I could not do them perfectly. I was hard on myself, pushing myself in school, often to the point of stress-induced illness. This pattern continued into adulthood in my work and relationships.  

As a new mother, I drove myself crazy trying to be the perfect parent while keeping up with unrealistic self-imposed standards for housework, work, and other pursuits, thinking I should be able to do it all and do it perfectly. However, my sleep-averse spirited baby made it clear that I was no longer in control, and my standards started to slip. I felt like a sleep-deprived failure. Not only was the house dirty and my son's first-year scrapbook unfinished and abandoned, but I was also not enjoying motherhood and that seemed like the biggest failure of all.

Through all this, my yoga practice changed. With one, and then two children, I had less time to practice. I was forced to adapt, settling for 10 stolen minutes at home instead of the hour-long classes I was used to. My all-or-nothing attitude and drive for perfection nearly caused me to quit yoga for good.

But I stuck with it, and my relationship with yoga evolved. Instead of focusing on my tight hamstrings and comparing myself to others, I softened my edge and released expectations. I came to enjoy the internal exploration, the beauty of the practice, the perfection of the present moment just as it is. By embracing this true essence of yoga, I learned to let go of the ideal of perfection, choosing instead to see perfection in the imperfection. Through yoga, I found self-acceptance—flaws, tight hamstrings, and all.

Today, yoga is what keeps me sane and grounded. I nurture my practice in the same way I nurture my children. Although my boys are older and more self-sufficient now, life is still crazy sometimes and I often struggle.

But that's life. I now know that perfection is just an illusion, and with that knowledge comes a kind of freedom, a lightness, and an opening for happiness.

Come and find your own freedom through yoga. I'm still teaching Monday nights at Elation Centre in Westboro: "Vinyasa Fundamentals" at 5:30.  Hope to see you there!

Get your flow on!

I'm teaching a Basic Vinyasa (flow) yoga class on Monday nights (5:30-6:30) at Elation Centre in Ottawa. If you want to give Vinyasa yoga a try, here's your chance! Learn to breathe and move dynamically in a supportive environment, get healthy, and have fun.

www.elationcentre.com

Smile, and the world smiles with you

Smiling is underrated. Did you know that you can actually change your mood or your current experience pretty instantaneously by smiling? Even fake smiling works! This is very powerful. If you don’t believe me, try it. And then check out this link for more reasons to smile: http://longevity.about.com/od/lifelongbeauty/tp/smiling.htm

Here are 3 things that never fail to make me smile (and sometimes laugh out loud):

1. My kids

Nothing makes me smile more than my two boys. I love having conversations with them, watching them play together, and cuddling with them. My 5-year-old still says the cutest things, often getting words mixed up. He regularly calls out to me in the middle of the night to tell me his arm is wrinkly. “You mean tingly?” I ask him every time. Then I have to rub his arm and kiss his forehead until his arm feels less wrinkly.

Recently, the two boys were playing ball hockey in the driveway. The 5-year-old was all tricked out in his goalie gear and getting frustrated because he wasn’t blocking enough of his 8-year-old brother’s shots. So the 8-year-old instructs his little brother: “Just say, ‘I am going to stop this shot’. It will give you confidence. That’s what I do and it works!” That gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling and put a big smile on my face. The child has been listening to me after all!

Lately they’ve been asking lots of questions about where babies come from so on the advice of a friend, I finally brought home a book called “It’s Not the Stork”. I love this book but it is not for the faint-hearted parent. It is very direct, detailed, and factual. Which I suppose is why, after I read the part about the man’s penis inserting into the woman’s vagina, my elder son exclaimed in disgust, “AHHHHHH! Are you SURE this is a kids’ book, Mom??” Clearly he thought this was a classic case of TMI. Interestingly, the 5-year-old didn’t bat an eye.

2. My crazy family

I love my family. They are generous, open, loving, and a little insane (in a good way). Last month, my parents hosted a family BBQ to celebrate the Easter holiday. Eight adults, six teenagers, and six kids ranging in age from 1 to 9 years gathered inside the house, on the deck, and in the backyard.

It was loud, fun, unbelievable chaos. My father grilled up about 5 hundred hamburgers, chicken burgers, hot dogs, and sausages. My mother made a big pot of baked beans and German potato salad (including bacon-free versions for me) and took care of all of us as she always does. Wine, beer, and chocolate milk flowed freely.

And then my father decided to give all of his old ball caps away. No one knows why, but all of a sudden he had a big pile of hats and he was handing them out to all the kids. My 8-year-old son ended up with a Thunder Bay Senators hat, which my father insisted is an antique because the Ottawa Senators farm team hasn’t been based there in years. My 5-year-old son was thrilled with his bright yellow Jamaica cap, which Dad acquired just this past January when we were all in Ocho Rios for my sister’s wedding.

I was just trying to puzzle out why Dad didn’t want to keep the brand-new cap for himself when Aunt Susan (who is only 7 years older than me, lots of fun, and more like a cousin than an aunt) started hollering, “Hey Tom! When are you going to start giving out money?”

3. A good song at just the right moment

Have you ever heard the song, “Barbra Streisand” by Duck Sauce? Every time I hear it, I crack up. And sing along. That’s not hard to do since the only lyrics are “Barbra Streisand”, repeated over and over. I love that the subject of a 1970s-sounding disco track is a legendary award-winning singing and acting icon and diva. Plus, the tune is totally catchy. You need to hear it to know what I’m talking about, but I guarantee that once you do, you will smile and sing along too. And chair dance in your car.

For extra enjoyment, check out the official video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uu_zwdmz0hE&feature=fvst.

10 tips for healthy breasts

It is estimated that 1 in 9 women will develop breast cancer in her lifetime, and 1 in 28 will die of it. Those are pretty scary statistics.

But breast health experts and educators say there are ways to minimize your risk of developing breast cancer. Just this past weekend I attended a workshop at Elation Centre in Ottawa called "Love Your Body". As part of the workshop, we learned a 15-minute yoga sequence designed to promote breast health. We were also given nutritional information and tips for maintaining healthy breasts, including spending several hours of bra-free time each day at home to free the breasts. The workshop leaders, Donna and Sylvie, have both studied with a naturopathic doctor and breast health educator named Dr. Sat Dharam Kaur and highly recommend her Web site (http://www.mammalive.net/) as a great resource for information about breast health. Check out Dr. Kaur's "10 Tips for Breast Health":

http://www.mammalive.net/blog/10-tips-breast-health

Beginner Yoga

Are you interested in trying yoga but don't know where to start? Try a 3-class beginner vinyasa yoga course at Elation Centre in Ottawa. I'm teaching the October session on Saturdays (October 2nd, 9th, and 16th) from 4:00-5:00 PM.

http://elationcentre.com/shop/product.php?productid=16428&cat=303&page=1

Hope to see you there!

Getting caught up in the story

I have dabbled in meditation off and on for the last 12 years or so, ever since my friend, Kristin, and I took a short workshop in Zen Buddist meditation. At the time, we found the whole thing quite amusing, from our confusion over the name of the teacher (was it Seisen Sensei or Sensei Seisen?), to the awkward slow shuffle they called walking meditation, to what turned out to be our favourite instruction (Don't get caught up in the story!), which we still use regularly to this day.

Since that workshop, my on-again, off-again relationship with meditation has led me to explore a variety of techniques. Gazing at a candle flame. Counting my breath. Repeating various mantras. Visualizing the chakras. All of these methods are said to have the potential to bring you to your final goal: enlightenment.

Well, I’m still nowhere near enlightenment, but I keep plugging away with this meditation business all the same. After all, it’s about the journey and not the destination. We’re not supposed to be attached to the results.

So I sit on my cushion, close my eyes, and follow my breath. I find that this is the simplest way to center myself and slow down the steady stream of thoughts. Sometimes I add in a mantra. Sometimes I ask for guidance on an issue in my life and listen quietly for an answer. Sometimes I get an answer. More often than not, my mind is too busy thinking random thoughts to hear the answer or even to clearly ask the question.

People always tell me that they can’t meditate because their minds are too active. They just can’t stop thinking. Like Kristin and I like to say, they keep getting caught up in the story. Well, join the club! Most of us have busy minds and have trouble finding stillness and silence, especially those of us who are meditation newbies.

But that’s why we practice. With practice, we find more moments of stillness, and those moments come to us more readily. We learn to notice the thoughts the moment they arise, and then allow them to float away like clouds and return to the breath. And we enjoy the benefits of those often fleeting moments of non-thinking, of simple being: the sense of peace, the relaxation, the clarity, the feeling of deep connection with the Self.

It’s not a linear path. Some days the stillness comes more easily than others. Some days 20 minutes seems like an eternity, while other days the time flies by. Last week while sitting in meditation, I fell asleep, my head bobbing forward and jerking back suddenly as I struggled to stay awake. I finally gave up and lay down for a short nap.

In a 20-minute meditation session, it’s not uncommon for me to alternate between feeling restless, angry, sleepy, joyful, impatient, annoyed, sad, uncomfortable, and blissfully relaxed. I sit with numb legs and aching hips while my “monkey mind” plans dinner, worries about the kids, writes e-mails, wonders why I suck at meditation, and re-lives entire scenes from The Bachelor.

On a good day, I catch myself early before getting too deeply caught up in the story. I congratulate myself on how good I am getting at meditating, and then I kick myself for congratulating myself , and then I kick myself for kicking myself, and then…well, you get the idea. Eventually, I simply recognize the ego at work, take a deep breath, and let it all go.

Meditating is not easy. It can be a big pain in the butt (literally). But it’s all worth it for those few short moments of absolute stillness and the positive ripple effect they have on my daily life and relationships. I sit because in the end it makes me a happier, calmer, and more present person. Maybe one day I will reach enlightenment, but for now this is more than enough.